Rebecca Portela

you say my name like you know this body its full weight on your tongue
your voice raising the lawn of my skin
its insides yearn and twist and sour

you say my name like a surprise party
and i’m so touched that you all came
my hand clutches my chest, holding my heart back from jumping ready to torch the life of this
and undo my personality limb by limb

you say it again in the middle of a story teasing me with my own name
dangling it from your teeth
it lingers in your mouth like a burn, like a sore

i say your name like a fact
like it and death are the only certainties we know

i say your name like a sex dream
madly in love with you for exactly one day
this body betrays the boundaries of my practical, reasonable skin

you stop saying it
like a stranger, like my name were a ghost
like this body is not hungry and vicious enough to eat itself completely

Rebecca Portela is a writer and speaker for human rights and animal protection in New York City. She specializes in the genres of psychology and comedy writing. She recently finished writing her memoir, Unearthed, where she uses her unique sense of humor to address difficult subject matters, including PTSD and sexual abuse. Her work can be found in Idle Ink magazine, Beyond Words (Queer Anthology), X-Ray, trampset, io Literary, Stone of Madness Press (inaugural issue), and elsewhere. 

Twitter: @veganbex