Nolan Dannels

 

could have been a poet in another life
but in this one, I’m giving up the ghost
did everything wrong to make it all right
because I like to think that’s what I want most

came off another psychotic episode earlier this month
didn’t hear voices in my head but I spoke in tongues
guess I must have become the voice I’ve been running from

could have written my heart out and cried
but all I did was eat my words and sigh
found everything I wanted and let it all go
because I want to forget all the things I know

came out to say goodnight
but everyone was asleep
so I whispered to myself “sweet dreams”
already exhausted by my hope for rest
thought it was best to close my eyes
since staying awake wouldn’t be right

could have been myself if I honestly tried
but it’s hard when this mind isn’t even mine
thought everything I knew had added up
because I forgot all the things I’ve undone

came off another psychotic episode earlier this month
didn’t hear voices in my head but I spoke in tongues
guess I must have become the voice I’ve been running from

took my black pen so I could still write as I run from day to day
because I speak in colors that paint my words as they pave the way

 

Nolan Dannels is a Persian American poet and lyricist who graduated from the University of Edinburgh with a Master’s in English Language and Literature, and he is currently a Literature PhD candidate, specializing in modern and contemporary Anglophone poetry at the University of California, San Diego. He served as the Editor in Chief of Alchemy, Journal of Translation for its Summer 2020 issue. His work appears in Kissing Dynamite and Trouvaille Review.